Friday, August 31, 2012
So after yesterday's TOTAL Rejection. I decided I needed to go back to ground zero with B'Elanna. So the stroller was hidden away in the closet before she woke up and today (and for as long as I can until the Humidity gets to me) she is being carried in the Boba baby carrier or walking holding my hand, she is not feeding herself or having anything on her tray, she is not putting on her own socks and shoes, etc. etc. etc. So when we went to breakfast, she was in the Boba and I fed her everything in little bits... no self feeding and everytime she tries I keep say "Mamma do" or "Mommy do".... short and simple. We'll see how it works!!??!!??!!??!!??!!?????
So today, we had a free day so Grammy, B'Elanna (in the Boba) and I walked from the Crowne Plaza to the Walmart/Mall area. It was drizzling a bit, but that felt good in all this humidity. Well we got to the Mall and started walking around and realized it was about 9:30 and the shops weren't open yet... so we just walked around for a bit. Everytime we stopped and rested, she would start struggling in the Boba, crying and just kicking up a fuss.... but we carried on. We ended up in a Children's section of the and there was a cute riding toy that she seemed to get excited about, so I let her out and she rode that thing back and forth about 10 times in the hallway.
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| Enroute to the Mall. |
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| The little car she liked. Hopefully this means she will like the Pink/Purple Flintstone car I have for her! |
And then it happened.... I bet anyone who is a parent and is reading this already knows what I am about to type. Yep, you guess it.... the ride ended and Mommy didn't have another token!!! Oh the drama!! The screaming and self-scratching and self-hitting. I can just guess what the other patrons in the mall must have been thinking.... her is me.... this white lady physically restraining a small asian toddler who is screaming her lungs out and fighting!!! I doubt any of them would have noticed that I was trying to prevent her from hurting herself. Well, once she had calmed down enough that I could pick her up again, I did and strapped her right back into the Boba! Oh, the crying and wailing, crying and wailing. Then as we were walking out of the mall, she reached up like she was going to wrap her arms around my neck and hug me.... and you guessed it.... she clawed the HELL out of my neck!!!
She fell asleep while we were walking back to the hotel, and we ran into some of the other Adoptive Parents heading To the Mall. I showed them what had happened... they are all experiencing similar/same things and one of the Mothers mentioned that she always waits until her kids are asleep to cut thier fingernails. Well, since she was asleep, we walked straight into the hotel room.... to the bathroom.... and my Mom cut her nails while I still held her in the carrier!!!!
she has the emotions and not the words...most adults have the emotions and still don't use words to express themselves...they yell and throw tantrums too. One thing I learned as a parent, but don't practice it very well (okay maybe not at all) is - give up control (you know me OCD type A, MUCH easier said than done!!) The only thing you can control right now (or anytime for that matter) is how you react...not how B'Lanna reacts, not how poeple on the street react, not what she feels, not what your mom feels and most certainly not what anyone thinks. EVERYTHING you are doing right now is right, right now. I remember once in Albertson's in Key West, Megan pitched a royal fit (I dont remember why) she was screaming on the floor wouldn't get up...and a lady walked by and told me to do something...my response..."I am doing something, I'm watching." So did you, you watched...and learned she has opinions and conviction (this can be trouble at 3 and 13 but it's leadership at 30!) and you learned...cut their fingernails in thier sleep. *smile* Put that on your list of things to pass to other parents!!!! I giggle at the blog, because it brings back memories of Megan. I'm so glad you have "a village" of other parents experiencing the same thing so you can use them as a resource. As much as many of us would love to offer advice...(of course I always will - type A remember) I'm not sure it will hold much merit - as the situations are so different. I wish we lived closer. Stay courageous my friend. love ya, -C
ReplyDeleteshe has the emotions and not the words...most adults have the emotions and still don't use words to express themselves...they yell and throw tantrums too. One thing I learned as a parent, but don't practice it very well (okay maybe not at all) is - give up control (you know me OCD type A, MUCH easier said than done!!) The only thing you can control right now (or anytime for that matter) is how you react...not how B'Lanna reacts, not how poeple on the street react, not what she feels, not what your mom feels and most certainly not what anyone thinks. EVERYTHING you are doing right now is right, right now. I remember once in Albertson's in Key West, Megan pitched a royal fit (I dont remember why) she was screaming on the floor wouldn't get up...and a lady walked by and told me to do something...my response..."I am doing something, I'm watching." So did you, you watched...and learned she has opinions and conviction (this can be trouble at 3 and 13 but it's leadership at 30!) and you learned...cut their fingernails in thier sleep. *smile* Put that on your list of things to pass to other parents!!!! I giggle at the blog, because it brings back memories of Megan. I'm so glad you have "a village" of other parents experiencing the same thing so you can use them as a resource. As much as many of us would love to offer advice...(of course I always will - type A remember) I'm not sure it will hold much merit - as the situations are so different. I wish we lived closer. Stay courageous my friend. love ya, -C
ReplyDeleteHI Cathy!!
DeleteWhat you said about being a leader at 30 made me laugh really hard!! Yesterday on the bus from the airport, she was tired and I would let her climb the curtains on the bus windows, so she started having a huge crying fit.... and I just sat there listening to the guides (and made sure she didn't fall off the seat of course). At one point she calmed down and I turned to look at her and she started right in again!! It was about that time a few of the other kids started crying too. My Mom looked over at me and said "see what she started" (with a smile on her face) and I looked at her and said "she is a born leader!!" Hahahahahah!!!!