Zhengzhou Day 7 - Orphanage Visit & Grammy's Perspective of Visit

Zhengzhou, Henan Province, China
Thursday Afternoon/Evening, August 30, 2012

We have four families in our group with kids from Zhengzhou CWI (ZZ CWI) and three of us said "Yes" to the orphanage visit.   So our group met in the hotel lobby at 9:30am, hopped on the van and away we went.

If I haven't mentioned it before, I am going to mention it now.... I have a VERY SMART AND ANALITICAL girl on my hands.    In case she freaked out on the visit, I had her in the baby carrier so she would know she was staying with me.     Well, while we were driving to the ZZ CWI (about 1 hour), she was looking and looking and looking and analyzing and analyzing  and the next thing we knew, her eyes rolled back in her head and she was asleep on my chest.... almost like she had fainted.   She slept through the crazy traffic, pot holes and bad road conditions.... remember the roads flooded Gotcha Day morning so the kids were late.... well we SAW the still muddy roads with huge puddles on the sides of the roads.  

 

On Gotcha Day, when they told us the kids were going to be delayed because of flooding roads and they didn't want to take a chance of driving them until they cleared a bit.... I was THANKFUL they cared and were being safe.   Other families were frustrated and appeared angry.... well, they kept saying.... "NOW we understand!!" 

 

 

OK, I am going to caveat the rest of this entry with... PUT AWAY your American Standards  and Opinions!!  After seeing the Beijing and Zhengzhou... I feel this facility was VERY CLEAN and well maintained.  When we got to the ZZ CWI and found out the care for about 600 children at the facility and in foster care.   The compound was very large and we saw at least 4-5 large building and at least 2 play areas.  

There are children playing here, I just chose
the best picture to show the play area.

This building, with the white cartoon goat, has the LOCC
and Half-Sky and the "general population" orphanage

B'Elanna and Elyse (Ben and Katie Komoda's daughter) were both cared for in the Lily Orphan Care Center (LOCC) so our group headed there first.   The director and the nannies were waiting for us when we got there.  They were very happy to see the girls!  The director tried to get B'Elanna to come to her... but she just stared at her.  Then she tried to pick her up out of the carrier and B'Elanna leaned out to her and the director lifted her out.    She didn't cry or anything.  The director tried to get her to go to the other Nannies and she was having none of that... she definately liked the Director!!   When she gave her back to me, B'Elanna started to cry and fuss... so one of the other Nannies went and got these sweet-bread roll things and little boxes of milk for her and the other kids in the group.   I found out a few things then... they give the kids diluted apple, pear or rock-sugar water bottles to drink.   She went to foster care in January 2012 (about 3 months earlier than I thought) and was brought back to the orphanage to receive the Fruit Care Package and Birthday Cake Care Package I had sent.   Before she was sent to foster care, she was one of the older children in the LOCC and used to help feed the other babies!!   NICE!!  Hope for a child that will share in the future!!     Anyways, the nannies brought over another little boy (that they are hoping will find a family soon!) to see if B'Elanna would share her bread or milk with him.... NOPE... she hugged those things in tighter!!  All of this occured in the room with the Blue Cribs, then we moved into the room with the pink cribs and some of the gentleman who coordinates all the paperwork for the kids adoptions brought in the Half-Sky Life books for the kids that went there for a time.   B'Elanna didn't have one of those, so I was looking around and the Director came over again and tried to get B'Elanna to go to her.   This time she reached out and wanted to go, so the director tried to lift her out, but I had tightened the straps.... comedy ensued... but eventually she got her out.   She had a dirty diaper.... so they took her back to a room and changed her.   When they came out and tried to give her back to me.... she was having NONE of it!!   She did NOT want to come back to me!!    The director gave her a few more hugs and told her to go to Mama (I think... it was in Chinese).... but nope.    After a minute or so, I Took her back and put her in the carrier.   She cried and carried on and eventually calmed down.    Once we left the LOCC, went to the Half-Sky Area so those families could talk to them.   They recognized B'Elanna, but she didn't want to go to them.   As we were walking around, she started kicking and fussing to the point... I finally let her walk for a bit.   She took ahold of my fingers and started trying to drag me to the stairs and pointing and fussing to LEAVE!!   She knew the way out.   Well, I had couple of families ask me to get pictures of their kids if I could, so we needed to take care of that first and then we got back in the bus and headed back to the hotel. 

The rest of the day went as expected.  B'Elanna had her moments of being happy and smiles, but the majority of the time she did not want me near or touching her.  She was Mad and Angry.   By the afternoon, she wanted to be with and IN her stroller at ALL times.... to the point that when we went to the Mamma Mia restaurant with the Franklin's for dinner... I left her in her stroller.   When she saw the high chairs arrive.... she freaked out.... you would have thought I had been starving the child.    So I got her into the high chair and she has happy and eating.    Once we got back to the room, it was a different B'Elanna HATES the room!! Our guide said this is very common, because it is a dark, small space... even with the drapes open.... it is still a small space for her.   So she was crying and that progressed to an all out melt down.   When she calmed down to let her wants be known, she kept pointing to the stroller and scream!   So I put her in the stroller and there was NO getting her out of it.... so I let her fall asleep and then tried to put her to bed.... but, of course, she woke up... took one look at me trying to put her to bed (she has been going to sleep with me and then I have been transfering her to the crib once she is asleep... ever since she fell out of bed)  and she Screamed and went straight to the crib and wouldn't have anything to do with me or Grammy.   Needless to say,  I fell asleep to a few tears from her rejection... but it is one of the normal responses.... so deep breath and go forward tomorrow.

Since we had such a large group, I was not able to get my individual questions answered and we were not able to go to the Finding Spots for each of the kids.... but I did find out a lot of NEW information.

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 August 30, 2012

ORPHANAGE VISIT

I’m not sure who was more traumatized…Yin Yue (AKA:  B’Elanna) or Grammy.  I was excited to see where you lived but as we entered the large building with 600 children plus staff the complete silence overwhelmed me.  The Orphanage Official was very nice explaining everything and giving your Mommy a piece of clothing you were found in but the SILENCE kept pulling at my heart strings.  I am a Social Worker back in the States and work with children that are rarely quiet and here is where you lived for the first 2 -1/2 years of your life and there was no music, laughing, crying, screaming…..there was QUIET!!!

We went into the room you live and met with the Nannies and they obviously loved you very much …including tears of sadness for loosing you but more tears of happiness for your future. 

The weather was hotter than I was accustomed to so my clothes were wet from sweat and here was a room you grew up in with about 30 cribs full of babies and one small old fan up in the corner.  Your Mommy stayed next to you while you were back in the arms of you Nanny but I walked around the cribs and tried to interact with the children in the cribs and found them with blank expressions and NO talking, crying or engaging with outside stimulus.

You did not cry, either, when you were back in your first home but your expressive self was obvious shut down also.  We left ‘your’ room and you started interacting with your Mommy and Grammy more but the closer we got to the outside door you started PULLING your Mommy’s hand to leave. 

I don’t know how long it will take me to process everything I saw, felt, and heard……TOTAL QUIET….. but the Nannies and staff were friendly, affectionate with you and your new family.  The poverty was staggering and for the Nannies to continue to work in those conditions of no heat in the winter and little relief from the heat during the summer; laundry hanging from all the hand railings to dry and all the children ill only speaks of their dedication but what got me the most was the QUIET.

This experience and the love that has grown from the first time I heard about you has changed my life.  I am going to look for a job where I can help more children get adopted and that is thanks to YOU my lovely little girl.  I want to complete home studies for more ‘forever families’ and see more children have a chance to reach their full potential.

LOVE YOU,

Grammy