Zhengzhou, Henan Province, China
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Today started off with crying, middle with crying and ended with crying!!
Today is a Down Day/Free Day for us... and I still woke up at 4:30am!! I started updating Facebook and the blog and Grammy woke up a little afterwards. We let B'Elanna sleep in as much as she wanted, it is a good time for her little body to deal with a lot of the stress she is experienceing right now. She woke up about 8am, saw me and started that low pitiful grieving cry. Got her up, gave her some cuddles, changed her and opened the drawer with her clothes to choose something. She was standing right next to me and the drawer crying the entire time, so I chose a dress for her and suddenly the crying got A LOT louder with pointing.... she had spotted a sweater wanted to wear. I took it out and she held it tight!! I got her dressed with the sweater and a pretty yellow ribbon... and I started to SMELL something. Yep.... 1st poopy diaper!! Got her cleaned up and we headed to breakfast.
This morning I had purposely only given her 1/2 her normal amount of bottle, hoping that she would eat more at breakfast and I could get an idea of what she likes. She likes WATERMELON and these brown noodles they serve. NOT the white noodles or the sausage or the potato's or the oranges. We are working on not dropping the residual noodles from her mouth onto the floor.... she is a pretty quick learner too. I gave her a bowl with the rejected white noodles and started putting the stuff she had thrown on the floor into it and so she followed suit!! She also started interacting with Grammy a little bit. Grammy had wiped off some juice that was starting to drip off the side of the tray, and B'Elanna proceeded to re-juice the spot, Grammy cleaned, B'Elanna juiced.... it is a good start. B'Elanna let Grammy at least touch her tray today!
After breakfast, we got the stroller and went to this Little Walkway/Lunch spot/"Park" between the Crowne Plaza and Holiday Inn Express hotels. This is when the "Reject Mommy Today" started to show itself. Once we were at the park, if I tried to pick her up... she wanted down, if I tried to hold her hand... she pulled away, if I walked near her.... she turned her back. Finally, she wanted to push the stroller.... By Herself!! It is a safe little area,I let her.... following her, and every time she spotted me, she would turn the other way. When I tried to help her not... crash into the rocks, go into the pond, fall down the stairs.... she would cry/grunt at me and pull the stroller away. This is all Normal in the Grieving Process and she is REALLY SMART.... so I think she is taking in more and understanding A LOT!!
Here are a few pictures of LITTLE MISS INDEPENDENT!!
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| I can do it myself!! |
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| I can see better this way. |
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| On the stairs.... have to concentrate! |
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| I did it!! |
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| Grammy is following ME!! |
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| OK... I will let her help me here! This is the 1st time B'Elanna let Grammy get this close!! |
After our little adventure in the makeshift park, we headed back inside. The HEAT and HUMIDITY are killing us Pacific Northwesterners. We were chilling in the lobby for a few minutes talking with other adoptive parents and we ran into the Franklins and made arrangements to go swimming with our girls after their naps. Well, it was only about 11am and B'Elanna naps from 1-3pm, so we still had some time to kill. Since Grammy and I are dying in this heat, we decided we would go try out the pool early and just see how she reacted.
**** I am going to caveat the beginning of the rest of this post by explaining that I am one of those adults who believes a child should be allowed time to overcome some anxiety and fears AS it is happening with their parents/adults right there with them supporting them through the process****
OK... so I have heard Many, Many times that the pool at Crowne Plaza Zhengzhou is NOT CHILD FRIENDLY!!! And it isn't!! The shallow end is about 5 feet deep. Well, I got there and jumped in... it felt GREAT after the heat and humidity. It is on the cool side though, so I wouldn't have stayed in long. Anyway, after I had been in for a bit, and B'Elanna could see I was fine, I had my Mom bring her to the side and I sat her on the side so her little toes were in and I was in front of her. She SCREAMED the roof off the place... when one of the female attendents came zooming in and took her over to the whirlpool. (FYI... yesterday, it was closed for maintenance!!) She sat with her for a minute... as I was scrambling out of the pool and my Mom was also rushing to B'Elanna. Once I got there and saw there was water in the pool, I got in and sat down (it is about 10-12 inches deep) and we sat B'Elanna on the side. My Mom also hoped in. We DID NOT put her in the water... she was upset and crying enough, but we did splash her toes and drip water on her legs, we used her foot to splash Grammy and Mommy. We also gently splashed each other and then took turns sitting by her while the other floated around in the pool. 1.) to show B'Elanna were OK in the water and 2.) We NEEDED to cool down!!! Well, then B'Elanna stopped crying and started to feel comfortable enough to splash us a little bit with her foot... this went on for about 30 minutes. Then she decided she Didn't Like Mommy Any More and GREIVED!! 1st she kept pushing my hand that was preventing her from falling backwards down the steps off, then she just turned her back to me with one foot on the seat and one in the water, and then she just fully turned away from me and the pool! A bit later, she turned back around and... I don't remember when or how.... but she had taken off the bubbles necklace and I got her to toss it in the water... It FLOATED. She was hooked then!! She was willing to kick, splash Mommy and toss the bubbles in the water and have Mommy and Grammy fetch them, eventually, I was able to lift her down and just stand her in the pool. She got a bit tense and started a small pitiful cry, but I cuddled her (while she stood in the water) and she stopped crying and decided the water was OK for standing in. Then she saw the bubbles floating and I got her to take a few steps to it and grab it and throw it again and then we walked to it again. She was doing pretty good, so I let go of her had so she could walk herself and she tossed it and started walking and faceplanted into the water.... CRYING Loudly..... being comforted by Mommy and deciding she was OK and Oh here are the bubbles.... and then realizing she was supposed to be upset and cried for a few minutes more and then she got up and walked around again!! We were so Happy she had fun in the water, we were sure we would have another Fish in the family. BUT, after her nap, when we met with the Franklin's to go to the pool.... she once again sitting on the side of the pool. This time, we took her stacking cups and an empty water bottle. She LOVED playing with those, but wouldn't get off the side to go "rescue" them from the water!! There was a family from Holland that is adopting a little boy that also brought their stacking cups. Well, mine have the different holes in the bottom and theirs are stacking cups with only one or two holes on the side. B'Elanna was FASINATED with taking the water from the water bottle and filling the cups (to overflowing), dumping out the water and taking the full cup and pouring it back in the water bottle! The family from Holland's little boy LOVED the Frog face and different water textures from My stacking cups... so we traded.
I have a little person who Analyzes EVERYTHING and has to try everything REPEATEDLY on my hands... I just don't think I can understand that type of personality <<SARCASM... I am JUST like that!!>>
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| Grieving and not happy about being at the pool!! |
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| Decided it is OK to splash with ONE foot in the water. |
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| Rejecting Mommy today, esp. right now.... she brought me to the mean ole pool. |
From My Auntie Bobbie:
ReplyDelete"Tried to post to your blog but it didn't work. Said "Oh, Carmel, are you so going to get your comeuppance for what you put your poor mother through when you were young. She is going to run you wild. Love it! She is soooooo cute. Can't wait to see her. Your smirking Auntie Bobbie" I absolutely love those pictures of her taking control of the stroller, but even better is the one at the Registry where she has her little glasses on and bows in her hair and you have the certificate. Even her little dimple shows. I've been waiting for pictures of smiles and happy faces and now we have them. I think she is contemplating jumping into that pond. Will love to see how she handles the swimming pool. Maybe we have a swimmer instead of a volleyball player. Looking forward to more. nai nai