First Halloween

Today was a big day for B'Elanna.  It is her FIRST Halloween... she dressed as a Ladybug!!   It is also her last day at Pass It On Learning and she started at Kid Central.  This is the only preschool in Missoula that the Military Child Care will substidize.   This school is for 2.5 - 6 year old kids and normally they do not take kids in diapers (or they must be in the Potty-training stage), but they decided they would accept B'Elanna because of her "special circumstances" of recently adopted AND her medical condition are causing her not to be ready for potty training right now.  

Ride'em Doggy!!




Will you FINISH already!!

Still won't smile when anyone but Mommy
is holding the camera!! YEAH!!

Horrible Picture... but the only one of the two of us.

B'Elanna and I went trick-o-treating at a local Retirement Center with her new Preschool, and then we went back to the school and had lunch with her new class.  Then the class was going down for naptime, so we left and I brought her home for her nap.   During that time, I had time to reflect on our time at the school... before we go back tomorrow.   Little things just kept needling me:

• All kids, no matter how young pass the standard size platters and bowls of food and serve THEMSELVES... including pouring their own glasses of milk from Pitchers.   I know a lot of people are thinking... No big deal, it's good for kids to learn things, but B'Elanna has already had to learn/do TOO MANY adult things.... it is her chance turn to be a child.  So, needless to say, this "server yourself" policy just does not sit right with me.  I DO NOT think that a 2.5 year old should be responsible for dishing up thier own food and drinks... this is an ADULTS job. 
• It was bugging me enough that I went back to the school and talked to the director.   She said that according to the CACFP rules that they fall under the children are supposed to be learning to be self-sufficient while in their programs.   I told the director... that phrase is upto interpretation.   I interpret that to mean, a 2.5-year-old can be served their food, but be encouraged to eat with a fork and spoon and drink from a non-lidded cup.  I told her, B'Elanna was already parentified in China and I DO NOT want anymore of her childhood taken from her and she needs to learn that ADULTS are here to care for HER not that she needs to RELY on herself at this stage.   I told the director that I was sorry for being "That Parent" this early, but this is EXTREMELY important to me.  She told me she works as an advocate for some children in the Missoula community, and she understands that I am B'Elanna's ADVOCATE.   I told her EXACTLY and I didn't want to wait 6-months to find out this isn't working... if this can't be accomodated, then I wanted them to sign the form for Military Child Care telling them they couldn't accept B'Elanna and she can go back to her  previous Preschool without an interuption.   The director said, she thinks this can be accomodated... that she would take B'Elanna for a diaper change while the other kids are dishing up and then when she comes back to the room her plate/cup would already be ready for her.   I really like this director... by the time she was done talking with me... I had really calmed down!!
• The other thing I mentioned to her was that I had noticed that A LOT of the kids in the school have Lazy Speech and I would like the Teachers to please correct B'Elanna if she starts slipping into those patterns.  I also let her know that I am having B'Elanna evaluated at the end of the month at the Children's Development Center and am hoping she will be referred for Speech Therapy!

I know B'Elanna will be fine in this school and in her previous school and this is ME having the issues and concerns, but meeting with the director and getting this addressed ASAP made me feel better (more comfortable leaving her in their care) and now I am ready for us to do our half-day tomorrow and the next day.

Tonight, B'Elanna loved greeting everyone at the door for Halloween.   Here is a video I took of the phrases she kept saying to EVERYONE...

She is saying "Hap Baleen" for Halloween.   I think it is so CUTE for a kid that just started saying the word TODAY!!

First Hair Cut (Trim)!!

Today B’Elanna had her First Hair Cut (Trim)!!   It has been looking a bit shaggy, esp in the back.  Plus, A LOT of people have mentioned recently that if I trimmed her hair it would grow faster. 

She started crying as soon as they put her on the booster seat, so she sat on my lap through the hair trim. 

They took off about ½ inch… hopefully her hair will grow a bit quicker now. :) :)

As they were cutting her hair, most of the hair stylists came by to see her, but she wouldn’t smile or talk to them. Then as we were walking out, she said a VERY LOUD… “BYE-BYE!!”

2 Months since Gotcha Day!!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

B'Elanna has been in my daughter and in my arms for 2 months now!!  It has been quite a couple of months.

This was Gotcha Day... August 27, 2012....

She is so SMART.  Somehow she knew she was supposed to be MINE and although she was stressed, confused and scared.... she still didn't want anyone else talking or trying to holding her.   As you can see from this picture below, she didn't even want her Grammy talking to her.  At one point, I had to hand B'Elanna to my mom for just a moment and she SCREAMED and CRIED... so she was back in my arms ASAP!!   I had been having my Mom read blogs and a couple of books before we went to China, so she was prepared for whatever reaction B'Elanna had towards her on Gotcha Day... so in this picture below she is telling B'Elanna "You will like me one day!! <<smile, smile>>"   As you can see, B'Elanna was not impressed!!

Now, two months later, she calls out GRAMMY when we call her, when she sees her picture on my phone and in photos around my house.  B'Elanna gets REALLY excited when we Skype with my Mom and tries to kiss the screen. 

B'Elanna is now smiling... even when the camera comes out!!  She is joking and laughing and being funny!  She is learning, learning, learning so quickly.  One of her new games is to play in (or take over) my recliner when I vacate it.  In these pictures, she had run-off before I could get her PJ's on one night.

Just this last week, she has been wanting her soft horsey that her NaiNai gave her when she arrived in America. She is keeping her blanket on her when she first goes to bed/sleep... kicks it off later at night while she is sleeping... but she is starting with a BLANKET!!  She has also started to play with her stuffed dolls and her puzzles.   Here are a couple of pictures from today... as you can see in the puzzle picture... she still likes to put things in lines.

Citizenship!!

Today we got home to find B'Elanna's CERTIFICATE OF CITIZENSHIP in the mailbox!!!!   She couldn't care less... but I was estatic!!  It took everything I could think of to get a couple of pictures of her with the certificate without her bending or ripping it.   I finally resorted to giving her my cell phone.





Now I can apply for her Social Security Card and Passport!!!

Love Letter: 31 months

Sunday, October 14, 2012

My Dear B'Elanna,

This month has brought a HUGE amount of changes for you.  You are now fully immersed in the English language.  You are in your new home here in Missoula, MT.  You have only ME around... for better or worse... for boring and fun!!  You started preschool.

This has been a difficult month for us.  We have Butted heads, over and over and over.  Your pesonality is so very similar to my own (according to family).  You are very stubborn and defiant.  You are cooperative and sweet and shy.  AND THEN something will set you off and you will cry and scream and reject Me, Posideon and any soothing I can hope to give you.  Being the adult, and all the reading/research I have done, I know this is normal... but honestly, many times my feelings have been Hurt and I get angry... and I let you know.   I have put you in Time-in, put you in your crib and walked out to the room to the hallway until you have finished your tantrum, I have used a VERY stern and ANGRY voice towards you.   BUT... we are learning.  Your vocabulary is growing by Leaps and Bounds, both verbal and sign language from the Baby Signing videos.   Our patience for each other takes two steps forward/three steps back... but in just the last week.... I feel like we ran a mile ahead after having taken a full 10 steps backwards.  

You started the Pass It On Learning Preschool.  We did a couple of Orientation days and on October 1st you started full time... and I went back to Work.  It is a WONDERFUL school... and you are the apple of your teachers eye.  They tell me that you laugh and joke, help and sooth the other children, you sit in a chair at the table and eat A LOT every day.   All of these things are Wonderful to hear, but at the same time, very frustrating.   It is like you are a Dr. Jekel/Mr. Hyde.   The nice, sweet one at the school... and the mean, rotten one at home.   I know, the school is an environment that you are familiar with and comfortable in.  And, I know, you have realized you are in a NEW home and are testing your boundries with me.   I hope you will learn soon that you will be staying with me FOREVER, although I know that can take years.  Since you were in your Foster Home for 8 months.... I am guessing the earliest you will finally realize I am your Forever Mommy will be at least 12 months.   But things are getting better and better... especially this Last Week!!

This month, we also went to Kalispell twice to visit Tante Noonie and NaiNai.  You have gotten MANY new toys.  You especially like your riding toy.  In fact, sometimes... you won't let it go.

You also experienced your first Pumpkin Patch.  I think you had a Great Time.

Some things I have learned about you:

• Your FAVORITE colors are Green and Pink!!
• Your favorite sign language sign is Socks. You also know and use milk, coat, water, MORE, food/eat.
• You HATE chocolate.
• You still LOVE noodles.
• You still like eggs, yogurt and bananas, just like in China.  Now you also like milk and apple juice.
• You tried asparagus this month... I think you liked it.  You also tried avacado... You didn't care for it.  You ate some artichoke hearts I had from Costco.... You LOVED them!!!
• You are learning to understand English VERY Quickly and your verbal skills are coming along quicker than I could have imagined.
• You are picking up Sign Language VERY Quickly also.
• You LOVE Posideon and say "Posideon, Posideon, Posideon" as we are leaving the preschool Every Day!!   You are also TERRIFIED of him when he First comes in the house, because he is So Happy and Energetic... he almost tramples you and Hits you with his big tail...if you are on the floor.   So...Usually, you come RUNNING for me to pick you up before I can open the door to let him in, then you scream or laugh (depending on your mood) when he puts his big nose on your foot.
• All your initial blood work for Lead, diseases, worms and parasites... came back negative or normal.   You are a healthy little girl.   We also restarted ALL of your immunizations this month.

Week: Oct 8 - 13, 2012

It has been quite a week.  B'Elanna came home from Kalispell with a fat lip, I had a bit of breakdown on the phone with my Mom on Monday... and B'Elanna has opened up a bit more.

On Sunday, B'Elanna slept a good portion of the way home.  We picked up Posideon and then she proceeded to be a little BRAT the rest of the night.  Her obstinance, refusal to look me in the eye, rejection, rejection, rejection.... had me just wanting to toss her in her crib (put her in the back of a closet... not really... but I felt it!) and leave her there.   I was at my wits end!!!  I did put her in her crib for a bit... and she quieted down... but as soon as she realized I had stepped away from the doorway.... she SCREAMED!!!!   I knew leaving her there would be counter-productive to bonding... so I grew-up... pulled my bootstraps up.... and put her in my bed like always.  Although, I admit, when I decided to go to bed, my feelings were still a bit RAW... and I moved her little body as FAR away from me as I could get it.   Petty, I know... but necessary for my sanity at the time.    As my friend Kim told me when I wrote a "crying" email to her.... sometimes it is HARD to Love/Like a child that keeps REJECTING, REJECTING, REJECTING you!!!  Even in her sleep, she would arch away when I rubbed her back and push my hands away!!

Well, on Monday, I woke up close to tears.  Got B'Elanna fed and dressed and in the car.   Then I called my Mom and "cried/vented" on her shoulder the ENTIRE 15 minute drive, took B'Elanna into Preschool, called her back and continued.   It was a horrible day... but only because I was in a bad mood.  At the end of the day, I went to pick up B'Elanna... and picked up an entirely DIFFERENT child!!!   I swear she understood what I had been saying that morning to my Mom in the car.  She was happy to see me, gave me a BIG hug.... something she has NEVER done when I picked her up the week before.  That night, she was happy, smiley and playful.  She played with this Raggety Ann doll and rocking chair for the first time.  AND SHE SMILED FOR A PICTURE WHEN ASKED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! 

After such a Horrible night before and morning....it was a GREAT night!!

 

 

Tuesday... another good morning and evening!!!  Today, B'Elanna wore this really CUTE running suit NaiNai got her over the weekend.  She LOVES her pockets!!

 

On Thursday... she showed me she is feeling a little stressed.  When I got out of my chair to give her a bath, I found (almost stepped on) this Wonderful display.  She often puts things in rows... blocks, books, shoes.   This is the first time, she has used something of MINE in one of her projects.  Also, many people noticed the symetry in her color coding AND how she has placed her shoes BETWEEN my shoes.  I think she is realizing she is a part of my family and is trying to tell me... in her own way... that she CARES and needs to be ACCEPTED.... also that she Loves me also.   This week, B'Elanna has been VERY clingy and is initiating Kisses and Hugs... even in sleep!!  YEAH!!!   I know this isn't REAL bonding... but because she is feeling insecure... but it is a start! 

 

On Friday, B'Elanna enjoyed playing with my Boots, insisted on Feeding Posideon and I finally got some cute pictures of her utensil skills!  She is starting to show me her Funny and Comedic side.... the side the Preschool has been telling me about, but that I have only glimpsed.

 

 

 

And finally on Saturday, I was rearranging my living room furniture for the winter, making sure the heaters were not covered.... and cleaning up DOG FUR!!  Well, B'Elanna saw NaiNai using her Swiffer last weekend (and tried to help)... and then she did with me too.   So I pulled an extra Swiffer I had in the closet out and made a B'Elanna size one... she was in Seventh Heavean!!

 





First Blood

While I was packing up the car on Monday, NaiNai took B'Elanna for a walk to use up some energy.   My rough-n-tumble girl was walking nicely, but then decided to start running in her new boots and tumbled.... and did her first face plant.   Poor thing got a fat lip!!

Carved Pumpkin

On Sunday, Auntie Bobbie, B'Elanna and I went shopping for winter boots.  I was able to find her winter jacket, pants, gloves and hats at the consignment stores...but No Boots!!   We found some really cute ones with Hello Kitty on them that are the same shade of pink as the rest of her winter outfit!!

Once we got home... I started carving my 1st ever Pumpkin!!!  Interesting experience... once a year!

The final product



An exhausted girl!!