Zhengzhou Day 7 - Orphanage Visit & Grammy's Perspective of Visit

Zhengzhou, Henan Province, China
Thursday Afternoon/Evening, August 30, 2012

We have four families in our group with kids from Zhengzhou CWI (ZZ CWI) and three of us said "Yes" to the orphanage visit.   So our group met in the hotel lobby at 9:30am, hopped on the van and away we went.

If I haven't mentioned it before, I am going to mention it now.... I have a VERY SMART AND ANALITICAL girl on my hands.    In case she freaked out on the visit, I had her in the baby carrier so she would know she was staying with me.     Well, while we were driving to the ZZ CWI (about 1 hour), she was looking and looking and looking and analyzing and analyzing  and the next thing we knew, her eyes rolled back in her head and she was asleep on my chest.... almost like she had fainted.   She slept through the crazy traffic, pot holes and bad road conditions.... remember the roads flooded Gotcha Day morning so the kids were late.... well we SAW the still muddy roads with huge puddles on the sides of the roads.  

 

On Gotcha Day, when they told us the kids were going to be delayed because of flooding roads and they didn't want to take a chance of driving them until they cleared a bit.... I was THANKFUL they cared and were being safe.   Other families were frustrated and appeared angry.... well, they kept saying.... "NOW we understand!!" 

 

 

OK, I am going to caveat the rest of this entry with... PUT AWAY your American Standards  and Opinions!!  After seeing the Beijing and Zhengzhou... I feel this facility was VERY CLEAN and well maintained.  When we got to the ZZ CWI and found out the care for about 600 children at the facility and in foster care.   The compound was very large and we saw at least 4-5 large building and at least 2 play areas.  

There are children playing here, I just chose
the best picture to show the play area.

This building, with the white cartoon goat, has the LOCC
and Half-Sky and the "general population" orphanage

B'Elanna and Elyse (Ben and Katie Komoda's daughter) were both cared for in the Lily Orphan Care Center (LOCC) so our group headed there first.   The director and the nannies were waiting for us when we got there.  They were very happy to see the girls!  The director tried to get B'Elanna to come to her... but she just stared at her.  Then she tried to pick her up out of the carrier and B'Elanna leaned out to her and the director lifted her out.    She didn't cry or anything.  The director tried to get her to go to the other Nannies and she was having none of that... she definately liked the Director!!   When she gave her back to me, B'Elanna started to cry and fuss... so one of the other Nannies went and got these sweet-bread roll things and little boxes of milk for her and the other kids in the group.   I found out a few things then... they give the kids diluted apple, pear or rock-sugar water bottles to drink.   She went to foster care in January 2012 (about 3 months earlier than I thought) and was brought back to the orphanage to receive the Fruit Care Package and Birthday Cake Care Package I had sent.   Before she was sent to foster care, she was one of the older children in the LOCC and used to help feed the other babies!!   NICE!!  Hope for a child that will share in the future!!     Anyways, the nannies brought over another little boy (that they are hoping will find a family soon!) to see if B'Elanna would share her bread or milk with him.... NOPE... she hugged those things in tighter!!  All of this occured in the room with the Blue Cribs, then we moved into the room with the pink cribs and some of the gentleman who coordinates all the paperwork for the kids adoptions brought in the Half-Sky Life books for the kids that went there for a time.   B'Elanna didn't have one of those, so I was looking around and the Director came over again and tried to get B'Elanna to go to her.   This time she reached out and wanted to go, so the director tried to lift her out, but I had tightened the straps.... comedy ensued... but eventually she got her out.   She had a dirty diaper.... so they took her back to a room and changed her.   When they came out and tried to give her back to me.... she was having NONE of it!!   She did NOT want to come back to me!!    The director gave her a few more hugs and told her to go to Mama (I think... it was in Chinese).... but nope.    After a minute or so, I Took her back and put her in the carrier.   She cried and carried on and eventually calmed down.    Once we left the LOCC, went to the Half-Sky Area so those families could talk to them.   They recognized B'Elanna, but she didn't want to go to them.   As we were walking around, she started kicking and fussing to the point... I finally let her walk for a bit.   She took ahold of my fingers and started trying to drag me to the stairs and pointing and fussing to LEAVE!!   She knew the way out.   Well, I had couple of families ask me to get pictures of their kids if I could, so we needed to take care of that first and then we got back in the bus and headed back to the hotel. 

The rest of the day went as expected.  B'Elanna had her moments of being happy and smiles, but the majority of the time she did not want me near or touching her.  She was Mad and Angry.   By the afternoon, she wanted to be with and IN her stroller at ALL times.... to the point that when we went to the Mamma Mia restaurant with the Franklin's for dinner... I left her in her stroller.   When she saw the high chairs arrive.... she freaked out.... you would have thought I had been starving the child.    So I got her into the high chair and she has happy and eating.    Once we got back to the room, it was a different B'Elanna HATES the room!! Our guide said this is very common, because it is a dark, small space... even with the drapes open.... it is still a small space for her.   So she was crying and that progressed to an all out melt down.   When she calmed down to let her wants be known, she kept pointing to the stroller and scream!   So I put her in the stroller and there was NO getting her out of it.... so I let her fall asleep and then tried to put her to bed.... but, of course, she woke up... took one look at me trying to put her to bed (she has been going to sleep with me and then I have been transfering her to the crib once she is asleep... ever since she fell out of bed)  and she Screamed and went straight to the crib and wouldn't have anything to do with me or Grammy.   Needless to say,  I fell asleep to a few tears from her rejection... but it is one of the normal responses.... so deep breath and go forward tomorrow.

Since we had such a large group, I was not able to get my individual questions answered and we were not able to go to the Finding Spots for each of the kids.... but I did find out a lot of NEW information.

________________________________________________________________________________

 August 30, 2012

ORPHANAGE VISIT

I’m not sure who was more traumatized…Yin Yue (AKA:  B’Elanna) or Grammy.  I was excited to see where you lived but as we entered the large building with 600 children plus staff the complete silence overwhelmed me.  The Orphanage Official was very nice explaining everything and giving your Mommy a piece of clothing you were found in but the SILENCE kept pulling at my heart strings.  I am a Social Worker back in the States and work with children that are rarely quiet and here is where you lived for the first 2 -1/2 years of your life and there was no music, laughing, crying, screaming…..there was QUIET!!!

We went into the room you live and met with the Nannies and they obviously loved you very much …including tears of sadness for loosing you but more tears of happiness for your future. 

The weather was hotter than I was accustomed to so my clothes were wet from sweat and here was a room you grew up in with about 30 cribs full of babies and one small old fan up in the corner.  Your Mommy stayed next to you while you were back in the arms of you Nanny but I walked around the cribs and tried to interact with the children in the cribs and found them with blank expressions and NO talking, crying or engaging with outside stimulus.

You did not cry, either, when you were back in your first home but your expressive self was obvious shut down also.  We left ‘your’ room and you started interacting with your Mommy and Grammy more but the closer we got to the outside door you started PULLING your Mommy’s hand to leave. 

I don’t know how long it will take me to process everything I saw, felt, and heard……TOTAL QUIET….. but the Nannies and staff were friendly, affectionate with you and your new family.  The poverty was staggering and for the Nannies to continue to work in those conditions of no heat in the winter and little relief from the heat during the summer; laundry hanging from all the hand railings to dry and all the children ill only speaks of their dedication but what got me the most was the QUIET.

This experience and the love that has grown from the first time I heard about you has changed my life.  I am going to look for a job where I can help more children get adopted and that is thanks to YOU my lovely little girl.  I want to complete home studies for more ‘forever families’ and see more children have a chance to reach their full potential.

LOVE YOU,

Grammy



Zhengzhou Day 7 - Playroom Visit

Zhengzhou, Henan Province, China
Thursday Morning, August 30, 2012

Today we are going for the Zhengzhou Orphanage Visit.   I can't wait to see where B'Elanna spent the first couple years of her life.   The backpack is packed with things to entertain her, extra clothes, the emails from people on the Yahoo! forums asking me to see if I can get pictures/info on their kids, questions for the Nannies and the camera's, of course.

We had a good breakfast this morning, except B'Elanna has decided that Throwing food on the floor is a fun game... no matter how many times I say NO, she just laughs and keeps doing it.  So... I keep taking the food that she throws away and I am feeding her again.... NO Matter how much she is fighting it and wants to do it herself.   After breakfast, we had a couple of hours to kill until we met with our group to leave, so we went back up to the playroom.   Let me tell you my girl LOVES her  rocking horse!!  She saw that toy again and immediately wanted down and on it.





Ticklish Girl!!

Checking out the Necklace she saw in Grammy's stuff.
It's Magnetic!!

Run Grammy down with the Horsy!

 

Playing with the Balls

 

Belly Shot!!

 



Grammy's perspective day 6

Zhengzhou, Henan Province, China
Wednesday, August 29, 2012

OK I'm still not able to hold, touch or sometimes look at Yue (pronounce like oo as in moo with a long a).  For a VERY short time yesterday as she was rejecting Carmel she allowed me to hand her toys in the pool but that was short lived.  She has been struggling more and more the last 1-1/2 days but I hear today will probably be the worse when we visit her former orphanage.  Most people report their child seems to understand they will not return to the orphanage after that visit and really begin the accept/bond with their adoptive family.  I hope that is our case!!!  I am so proud of my daughter and her ability to work with and process all of Yue's feelings and her own at the same time because it has not been easy to sit back and watch. 

It has been wonderful to watch Yue as she attempts to put on her own socks, color in her coloring book (or I should say put the crayons in and out of the box) and smile and giggle with her light up $1.00 texture balls.  I should say she did allow me to wipe up her watermelon juice on her highchair while she was sitting in it.  In the play room she reminded me of Carmel when she was young because Yue got on a rocking horse and rocked so hard it looked like she was going to go head over heels just like Carmel did when she was young.  It was fun and funny to watch as she explores things she had never seen but there is soooo much more out there.

 This morning she has HELPED Carmel comb her hair, chose the bands for her hair and put on her shoes and socks. She also likes to fold her clothes.  Yesterday when she found one of her socks that had fallen under her crib she had a screaming melt down and once it was handed to her she stopped but hugged the sock to herself tight.  It is very obvious she has not had 'things' of her own and she loves 'her' clothes, socks seem to be a big thing and so are shoes.  It has also been fun watching her keep her bows in her hair - there may be a girly girl in the making - or maybe not once she gets in her own yard and home to get down and dirty????

I appreciated staying at the hotel yesterday and was able to keep closer to Yue's schedule so hopefully that will help today during her orphanage melt downs today.  I met more amazing adoptive families yesterday including a family from Holland.  It is amazing to hear all the stories.  I can't express my appreciation and respect I have for them all. 

It sounds like we are heading out for breakfast so I will write more after our orphanage visit today.
Love you all for your support,
Grammy --

Zhengzhou Day 6 - Free Day

Zhengzhou, Henan Province, China

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

 

Today started off with crying, middle with crying and ended with crying!!

Today is a Down Day/Free Day for us... and I still woke up at 4:30am!!  I started updating Facebook and the blog and Grammy woke up a little afterwards.  We let B'Elanna sleep in as much as she wanted, it is a good time for her little body to deal with a lot of the stress she is experienceing right now.    She woke up about 8am, saw me and started that low pitiful grieving cry.    Got her up, gave her some cuddles, changed her and opened the drawer with her clothes to choose something.   She was standing right next to me and the drawer crying the entire time, so I chose a dress for her and suddenly the crying got A LOT louder with pointing.... she had spotted a sweater wanted to wear.  I took it out and she held it tight!!   I got her dressed with the sweater and a pretty yellow ribbon... and I started to SMELL something.    Yep.... 1st poopy diaper!!   Got her cleaned up and we headed to breakfast.

This morning I had purposely only given her 1/2 her normal amount of bottle, hoping that she would eat more at breakfast and I could get an idea of what she likes.     She likes WATERMELON and these brown noodles they serve.  NOT the white noodles or the sausage or the potato's or the oranges.  We are working on not dropping the residual noodles from her mouth onto the floor.... she is a pretty quick learner too.   I gave her a bowl with the rejected white noodles and started putting the stuff she had thrown on the floor into it and so she followed suit!!    She also started interacting with Grammy a little bit.    Grammy had wiped off some juice that was starting to drip off the side of the tray, and B'Elanna proceeded to re-juice the spot, Grammy cleaned, B'Elanna juiced.... it is a good start.   B'Elanna let Grammy at least touch her tray today!

After breakfast, we got the stroller and went to this Little Walkway/Lunch spot/"Park" between the Crowne Plaza and Holiday Inn Express hotels.  This is when the "Reject Mommy Today" started to show itself.   Once we were at the park, if I tried to pick her up... she wanted down, if I tried to hold her hand... she pulled away, if I walked near her.... she turned her back.   Finally, she wanted to push the stroller.... By Herself!!   It is a safe little area,I let her.... following her, and every time she spotted me, she would turn the other way.  When I tried to help her not... crash into the rocks, go into the pond, fall down the stairs.... she would cry/grunt at me and pull the stroller away.   This is all Normal in the Grieving Process and she is REALLY SMART.... so I think she is taking in more and understanding A LOT!!

Here are a few pictures of LITTLE MISS INDEPENDENT!!




I can do it myself!!

I can see better this way.

 

On the stairs.... have to concentrate!

I did it!!

 

Grammy is following ME!!

OK... I will let her help me here!
This is the 1st time B'Elanna let Grammy get this close!!

 

 

After our little adventure in the makeshift park, we headed back inside.   The HEAT and HUMIDITY are killing us Pacific Northwesterners.   We were chilling in the lobby for a few minutes talking with other adoptive parents and we ran into the Franklins and made arrangements to go swimming with our girls after their naps.   Well, it was only about 11am and B'Elanna naps from 1-3pm, so we still had some time to kill.   Since Grammy and I are dying in this heat, we decided we would go try out the pool early and just see how she reacted.  

 

**** I am going to caveat the beginning of the rest of this post by explaining that I am one of those adults who believes a child should be allowed time to overcome some anxiety and fears AS it is happening with their parents/adults right there with them supporting them through the process****

 

OK... so I have heard Many, Many times that the pool at Crowne Plaza Zhengzhou is NOT CHILD FRIENDLY!!!   And it isn't!!   The shallow end is about 5 feet deep.   Well, I got there and jumped in... it felt GREAT after the heat and humidity.   It is on the cool side though, so I wouldn't have stayed in long.    Anyway, after I had been in for a bit, and B'Elanna could see I was fine, I had my Mom bring her to the side and I sat her on the side so her little toes were in and I was in front of her.   She SCREAMED the roof off the place... when one of the female attendents came zooming in and took her over to the whirlpool.  (FYI... yesterday, it was closed for maintenance!!)   She sat with her for a minute... as I was scrambling out of the pool and my Mom was also rushing to B'Elanna.   Once I got there and saw there was water in the pool, I got in and sat down (it is about 10-12 inches deep) and we sat B'Elanna on the side.   My Mom also hoped in.   We DID NOT put her in the water... she was upset  and crying enough, but we did splash her toes and drip water on her legs, we used her foot to splash Grammy and Mommy.   We also gently splashed each other and then took turns sitting by her while the other floated around in the pool.  1.) to show B'Elanna were OK in the water and 2.)  We NEEDED to cool down!!!     Well, then B'Elanna stopped crying and started to feel comfortable enough to splash us a little bit with her foot... this went on for about 30 minutes.   Then she decided she Didn't Like Mommy Any More and GREIVED!!  1st she kept pushing my hand that was preventing her from falling backwards down the steps off, then she just turned her back to me with one foot on the seat and one in the water, and then she just fully turned away from me and the pool!    A bit later, she turned back around and... I don't remember when or how.... but she had taken off the bubbles necklace and I got her to toss it in the water... It FLOATED.   She was hooked then!!    She was willing to kick, splash Mommy and toss the bubbles in the water and have Mommy and Grammy fetch them, eventually, I was able to lift her down and just stand her in the pool.   She got a bit tense and started a small pitiful cry, but I cuddled her (while she stood in the water) and she stopped crying and decided the water was OK for standing in.  Then she saw the bubbles floating and I got her to take a few steps to it and grab it and throw it again and then we walked to it again.  She was doing pretty good, so I let go of her had so she could walk herself and she tossed it and started walking and faceplanted into the water.... CRYING Loudly..... being comforted by Mommy and deciding she was OK and Oh here are the bubbles.... and then realizing she was supposed to be upset and cried for a few minutes more and then she got up and walked around again!!   We were so Happy she had fun in the water, we were sure we would have another Fish in the family.   BUT, after her nap, when we met with the Franklin's to go to the pool.... she once again sitting on the side of the pool.   This time, we took her stacking cups and an empty water bottle.   She LOVED playing with those, but wouldn't get off the side to go "rescue" them from the water!!   There was a family from Holland that is adopting a little boy that also brought their stacking cups.   Well, mine have the different holes in the bottom and theirs are stacking cups with only one or two holes on the side.   B'Elanna was FASINATED with taking the water from the water bottle and filling the cups (to overflowing), dumping out the water and taking the full cup and pouring it back in the water bottle!  The family from Holland's little boy LOVED the Frog face and different water textures from My stacking cups... so we traded.   

 

I have a little person who Analyzes EVERYTHING and has to try everything REPEATEDLY on my hands... I just don't think I can understand that type of personality <<SARCASM... I am JUST like that!!>>

Grieving and not happy about being at the pool!!

Decided it is OK to splash with ONE foot in the water.

Rejecting Mommy today, esp. right now.... she brought me to the mean ole pool.



Total Grieving and Shutdown. Rejecting Mommy!!!

 

OK, Mommy is OK to splash water at!
 

B'Elanna discovered her bubbles necklace will float if you through it in the pool
and Grammy and Mommy will pick it up and give it back to her.

 

She would actually take the cord and start Wringing it out

like Laundry. Grammy asked where she was yesterday

while she was having to do that with all our laundry in the tub.

All happy, giggly and smiles throwing it back in again.

Grammy Fetching!!

She was happy and accepting of the water enough, that I tried holding her in the water
 and then letting her stand. She LOVED it!!

Good BIG Girl!! 

Walking in the Water!!

Until Mommy wasn't holding my hand or quick enough and I faceplanted into the water!!!!!

Oh wait, I can still toss the bubbles. Happy!!!

 

Wait, I am supposed to be crying and
mad at Mommy for letting me faceplant in the water!!

This is the swimming suit, cover, shoes and bow that my Secret Pal

sent to us. She is now VERY attached to these shoes. Had to take a nap in them.

 



 

 

 

Zhengzhou Day 5: Sleeping Cute/Registration Day

Zhengzhou, Henan Province, China
Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Hi Everyone,

So yesturday, we started off well and then progressed to off and on grieving and by the end of the day, B'Elanna was just plain unconsolible.   She has this pitiful little tiny cry with a sad face during the day and I would cuddle her as much as possible, but there were certain things that needed to get accomplished like her Registration photo (got my little red book..... she is officially and forever more my daughter and a Finch.... pooor giiiirrrlll!!!)  heheeheh.    Then we came back to the hotel for a couple of hours for lunch and to "cool off" (relative, the AC sucks in this hotel!!!)   Ate some lunch and, finally, got her to lay down with me for a nap.... and then it was time to get up and leave for the Passport Photo.   I was considering putting her in the baby carrier, but my back is Killing Me today and the Tylenol isn't working.... plus, she LOVES her stroller, so she got strolled this afternoon. 




B'Elanna looking pretty in her bows.



The light up ball... her FAVORITE toy!!

 

She was really analyzing this pond.
I was waiting for her to try and jump in!!



Playing at the Registrar's Office

 

In the eyes of China, Zhou Yin Yue is officially and forever more MY DAUGHTER!!!!

 

SHE IS OFFICIALLY MINE!!!

B'ELANNA CAROL YINYUE FINCH!!



 



A bit of tired grieving as we were driving back to the hotel.

Fell asleep with the bottle in her mouth.  She chews on it and drinks a bit.   She is ready for a sippy cup....but doesn't know how to suck the liquid out yet.

 

So, I had to get her up from the middle of her nap AND expect her to be cooperative.... yeah right!!   For her Passport Photo, there was Absolutely NO getting her to look at the camera and stop crying and get BOTH ears in the picture (they are tiny and she has a big head folks!!)   It took FOREVER and her passport photo is NOT pretty.... she is crying and giving her Evil Eye.    Yes... she has an Evil Eye!!!   Grammy gets it ALL the time.    She says she now knows how Grandma used to feel when I gave her an Evil Eye at this same age.... but she says she isn't letting her feelings get hurt it is a normal part of the process.   OH what progress and growing up the Finch/Becker family has accomplished in ONE generation, hehehahhahhahaha!!   She keeps telling B'Elanna (from a distance or from behind).... I know you will Love me one day, but I already Love you right now, so this is OK.    While we were waiting for the passport photo's to be approved, for 5 kiddo's, she was all fussy and whiny and DID NOT want to be removed from her stroller.   I tried cheerios, I tried water, I tried to comfort her.... Nothing.... I finally broke down and gave her a Dum-Dum.... and then a Second one on the bus.... and then said NO to a 3rd one and she was not happy.

 

On the bus ride back, she would fuss, cuddle, jump in my lap and lookout the window, etc. etc. etc.  When we got back to the room, the actual TEARS with crying started.  So I just held her and cried along with her.   There was not stopping it.   There was nothing I could do to make her happy, she would sit on the bed with me.... but move away from me and cry w/ tears and then cry silently w/tears, then she would let me pull her up to me so she could use me as a back rest and cry and cry.... so Momma cried along with her.   When she calmed down/gave up enough, she and I were both HOT and SWEATY, so I went in and ran her a bath (it takes FOREVER for the bathwater to warm in this hotel... but luckily my Mom had done laundry earlier.... so we had lukewarm to start with).    Oh she cried when we walkd in there and started to take her clothes off... but as soon as the stacking cups came out, she calmed down and pointed to the tub... so I dropped them in and she laughed... then she tossed her light up ball in their too.   She LOVES her baths!!!   Finally had to take her out when she started to prune up.     She started to Grieve REALLY hard again, so I just gave her a bottle of this Fruity-Milky-Yogurty-Drink thing (Nurti-Express) that they have here.    When she was done, we ALL went to bed and SLEPT.   In the middle of the night, Grammy and I were awoken by this very startling, loud CRY.... she had FALLEN OUT OF THE BED!!!     Yes, I had put the pillow (they give us big long fluffy pillows) between her and the side of the bed, but my little wiggle worm.... TOOK THE PILLOW RIGHT WITH HER so at least she had a soft landing.   :) :) Humph!!!

 

Got her up, held her until she went to sleep.... I'm not really sure she ever woke up.... but cuddled her for a while.   In the meantime, Grammy figured out how to put one side of the crib walls down and then we shoved the crib back between the beds (it is a tight fit)... and now B'Elanna is sleeping in the crib once she is asleep.... regardless that she slept with her foster mom before.    I think they sleep with their beds against the wall.... so then she wouldn't have been able to fall out!! 

 

Anyway.... I woke up at 4am this morning and found her using Bunny as a pillow.... so of course I had to get a couple of pictures.    The frown is her reaction to the flash.



This is how she fell asleep last night.   It should have given me
a clue how she was feeling and how Today and the Passport Office Visit
were going to go..... she is feeling Sacrificed!!

 

Cheers from China!!

 

Grammy, Carmel and B'Elanna

 

Parker waving hi to his new cousin

These are a couple of pictures I found in my email last night.  :)  :)  :)

 

My Nephew, Parker, saying HI and Welcoming his new Cousin B'Elanna to the Family!!!!   He is such a cutie and very much of a Dare Devil (just like his father was.... me too I guess...heheheheh).    I am told B'Elanna is a very Active child also.... I am guessing she will be alot like Parker.    If her legs are anything to go by... it's true.   She does have some bug bits that look like they will be scars, but I definately see a lot of shin bruises too.   Just what you would expect from an Active Toddler. 

 

Oh... she is waking up.... gotta go!

Gotcha Day Pics 3 & Grammy's Gotcha Day Perspective!!

 

August 27, 2012  

GOTCHA DAY

Dear B’Elanna,

I know this phase of our journey has just begun but my heart started growing with love for you before we met.  Your mother shared the photos she received in the Match Day information and I started dreaming about you immediately but I must say today you are more than I could have ever dreamed possible.  When I saw you outside the van I felt like my heart was going to burst with love and then you SAW me and you did NOT want anything to do with ME!!!  You looked so sad with all the commotion in the room…there were a total of nine children meeting their forever families so there were many children crying, new parent’s crying but you barely had a couple of tears that ran down your cheeks.  I wanted to wipe them away but you would not let me touch you.  You were watching everything and everyone but again if I ended up in your line of sight you gave me “STINK EYE” until I was gone.  When your Mommy had to sign some paperwork before we left she handed you to me and that was all it took for you to scream at the top of your lungs so your Mommy quickly jumped up and grabbed you back and you calmed down and again I got the “STINK EYE”.

On the way back to the hotel you clung to your Mommy again and I sat in the seat behind you so everything was fine.  In the hotel room you continued to cling to your Mommy and wanted nothing to do with me.  I just laid down on my bed and stayed out of your way but when your Mommy went into the bathroom you wanted to follow and that meant you had to pass me on the bed and I could see your brain going a mile a minute….so cute….but heartbreaking that you were so afraid of me.  I wondered what I was reminding you of but you could not tell me so I tried to stay away.  After walking toward the bathroom but not passing my bed a number of times you finally RAN past the bed and found your Mommy and all was better.  I kept telling you, “You may not like me know but someday you will love me and in the meantime I’m going to pinch your butt.”  We shall wait and see ………..

Love you more than you could believe,

Grammy