On Sunday, B'Elanna slept a good portion of the way home. We picked up Posideon and then she proceeded to be a little BRAT the rest of the night. Her obstinance, refusal to look me in the eye, rejection, rejection, rejection.... had me just wanting to toss her in her crib (put her in the back of a closet... not really... but I felt it!) and leave her there. I was at my wits end!!! I did put her in her crib for a bit... and she quieted down... but as soon as she realized I had stepped away from the doorway.... she SCREAMED!!!! I knew leaving her there would be counter-productive to bonding... so I grew-up... pulled my bootstraps up.... and put her in my bed like always. Although, I admit, when I decided to go to bed, my feelings were still a bit RAW... and I moved her little body as FAR away from me as I could get it. Petty, I know... but necessary for my sanity at the time. As my friend Kim told me when I wrote a "crying" email to her.... sometimes it is HARD to Love/Like a child that keeps REJECTING, REJECTING, REJECTING you!!! Even in her sleep, she would arch away when I rubbed her back and push my hands away!!
Well, on Monday, I woke up close to tears. Got B'Elanna fed and dressed and in the car. Then I called my Mom and "cried/vented" on her shoulder the ENTIRE 15 minute drive, took B'Elanna into Preschool, called her back and continued. It was a horrible day... but only because I was in a bad mood. At the end of the day, I went to pick up B'Elanna... and picked up an entirely DIFFERENT child!!! I swear she understood what I had been saying that morning to my Mom in the car. She was happy to see me, gave me a BIG hug.... something she has NEVER done when I picked her up the week before. That night, she was happy, smiley and playful. She played with this Raggety Ann doll and rocking chair for the first time. AND SHE SMILED FOR A PICTURE WHEN ASKED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!
After such a Horrible night before and morning....it was a GREAT night!!
Tuesday... another good morning and evening!!! Today, B'Elanna wore this really CUTE running suit NaiNai got her over the weekend. She LOVES her pockets!!
On Thursday... she showed me she is feeling a little stressed. When I got out of my chair to give her a bath, I found (almost stepped on) this Wonderful display. She often puts things in rows... blocks, books, shoes. This is the first time, she has used something of MINE in one of her projects. Also, many people noticed the symetry in her color coding AND how she has placed her shoes BETWEEN my shoes. I think she is realizing she is a part of my family and is trying to tell me... in her own way... that she CARES and needs to be ACCEPTED.... also that she Loves me also. This week, B'Elanna has been VERY clingy and is initiating Kisses and Hugs... even in sleep!! YEAH!!! I know this isn't REAL bonding... but because she is feeling insecure... but it is a start!
On Friday, B'Elanna enjoyed playing with my Boots, insisted on Feeding Posideon and I finally got some cute pictures of her utensil skills! She is starting to show me her Funny and Comedic side.... the side the Preschool has been telling me about, but that I have only glimpsed.
And finally on Saturday, I was rearranging my living room furniture for the winter, making sure the heaters were not covered.... and cleaning up DOG FUR!! Well, B'Elanna saw NaiNai using her Swiffer last weekend (and tried to help)... and then she did with me too. So I pulled an extra Swiffer I had in the closet out and made a B'Elanna size one... she was in Seventh Heavean!!
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